Joker's One And Only Pussy
by Childhood Enigma
Summary: What's the first rule in life? Don't mess with Harley. Just don't mess with her. You won't live to tell and joke about it. One Shot JokerXHarley. Suicide Squad Club Scene.


Joker was in his night club in which he called "The Wild Chemical." He sat in his usual spot in the middle seat in the middle of the club. That's where he only would sit as he let people know. Johnny Frost, J's right hand man had entered in his space. "Boss, Mr. Monster is here to see you." "He wishes to talk some type of business." He said. Joker not looking at Frost's direction but grins. "Well, ain't no business like funny business." "Serious business is so...cliché." Joker said with a cackling chuckle as he then snaps his fingers ordering for him to bring him in. As Joker waited, his eyes was still on his girl...Harley Quinn. Formerly known as Dr. Harleen Quinzel who was J's psychiatrist long time ago had fell in love with the clown prince. At first he thought of her as a ploy. A little part in his plot but after seeing she can handle herself, he had to admit, Joker fell for her too for she was the only one to ever show affection for him and even though he could never admit it in person...he was thankful for that. This woman threw everything, a boring future away just to be with him and he had a mixed bag of flashes going through his damaged mind. On one hand he found her annoying at times, but strongly on the other, he couldn't function, breath or even laugh without her for he knew that now. That's why she was only his and "his" alone and God help any man or woman for that matter that would touch and disrespect him...especially his queen. He told himself in his head many times he didn't deserve her but by her actions, Harley always proved otherwise. Joker watched his woman danced for him, watching her as she stared back with the same raw non-soft passion. She loved showing off for her Mr. J. Hell, she even loved how jealous he got when she dances with a partner in the glass she's in. She pushes the other dancer hard against the glass, moving her body and grinding hard making J even more hot and lustful. She licks her teeth and lips in his direction and even makes a bite gesture that was filled with all the chemical lust in the world.

Frost was walking the criminal, Monster T to Joker's spot. "Now listen, boss is unpredictable." "Do not treat his hospitality for weakness." "He's knows people like the inside of their minds." Frost warns him. "Don't worry bout nothing, bruh." "Besides, we're all criminals here." "Just here to meet my ends meet of this deal I got for him." Monster said. They got closer to the spot where Joker continued watching Harley dance for him. "We finally meet." Monster said sticking out his hand waiting for Joker to shake, hands still firmly on his cane and eyes not leaving from Harley's body. "Nah, he don't shake hands." "But sit down and have a drink." Frost said. Monster did carefully what he was advised for the last thing he wanted was to get on Joker's bad side.

Monster T: Hey J, on behalf of everybody, welcome back. I wanted to come by personally and say thank you. You making me good money, I'm making you good money.

Joker sighs and looks at him finally.

The Joker: Are you sweet talking me?

He then brings up his hand where his laughing hand tattoo was, covered his mouth and chuckled. Monster takes off his sun glasses. "So Mr. T, do you mind if I call you that?" He asked. "Nah, it's all good homie." Monster said.

The Joker: So Mr. T, what was this...business that you wanted to speak with me about?

Monster T: Word on the street is you laid down Bat's sidekick.

The Joker: The word is right. Poor Bats. He should've known better then to send so called adults in tights and a cape to do his dirty work.

Monster T: Yeah he should have. See I figured this, since the freak has no allies left in Gotham at all, I'm thinking of having us take down the bat together. I mean combine our forces. The bigger picture would not only be to rule the city, but the world. I'm talking global domination J.

The Joker: Hmm. Well tell me then T, why would you want to work alongside with me? It wouldn't be the first time that someone would try and take it all for themselves. Even such a glorious thing such as ruling the globe.

Monster T: With our minds, we can get Batman out of the way. We finally get what we all want. And while we've never seen eye to eye, I don't see why we gotta be enemies like this. Powerful men like us, should join forces. We can make a whole lot more money as a team. Nothing would move, not even Batman without us allowing it to happen. Kill the bat, come to an understanding and by then moving forward...the world is ours. I know people all over that can guarantee it.

Joker stared at him for a second and laughed. "Wow, you sir I underestimated!" "Do you hear him, Frost?" "I love this guy." "He's so intense!" Joker said with glee flashing his grill grinning. Monster T is also smiling and then looks over to Harley who's now dancing alone for Joker but she even smiled at Monster. "Damn J, you're a lucky man." "You got a bad bitch." Monster said.

And then everything that Joker agreed or would've agreed to everything Monster said went completely out of the very demented window of J's mind as almost a disturbing flash. Joker definitely took T's compliment as an insult to Harley and to himself even Frost saw and noticed this and rolled his eye's at Monster's stupid chose of words. He stared at Monster still, smiling slimly fading but still showing his grill and points to Harley.

The Joker: Oh, that she is. The fire in my loins. The itch in my crotch! The one, the only infamous...Harley Quinn!

Harley was still dancing, pretending she was shooting at people with the baton in her hands but then she noticed her name shouted from her man. Joker whistled her as she got out of the glass and Monster downs his shot of whiskey. "Oh, come to daddy." Joker said fitting. Harley then overs the line of beads out of the way and leans over the upper part of J's booth. "Puddin." She says childlike.

Harley Quinn: Did you want me my clown god?

The Joker: Oh yes. Listen, you are my gift...to this handsome HUNKA HUNKA! You...belong to him now just for this night!

Harley makes her way over to Monster and flirts. Barks at him and sits on his lap. "You're cute there Monster!" "You want me?" "I'm all yours." Harley said moving her fingers around his face almost kissing his neck. Joker looks on real extremely jealous while Frost is almost at unease. Monster notices and is hesitant. "J?" "Hey, I don't want no beef." He said.

The Joker: Oh, you don't want no beef? You don't want no beef? You don't want no beef?

Harley Quinn: Hey what's wrong? What you don't like me or something? Fine, don't waste my time then!

Joker and Harley knew what they were doing. Harley saw it when Monster said something complementive about her to her puddin and wanted to make Joker feel better. See, most men that looked at Harley's direction for too long or got to make moves on her never left the club alive and now, Monster was no exception. Harley went to J's side as he made his way close to Monster, his mind game worked and even Monster was showing fear. "Aren't you enjoying yourself?" Joker said as he glared then smiled showing Monster his grill. "No, I meant no disrespect or nothing bruh." "You know?" "That's your lady, J." Monster said trying to calm him down. "That's right!" Joker said laughing and patting Monster on the shoulder. "Its all well and dandy." You're alright!" Joker then pulls out his gun and points at Monster. "And only I touch "my" pussy." Joker said with conviction. "NO, J!" Monster said his last words before Joker pulled the trigger, bullet between the eyes of Monster killing him and the people in the club screamed and started to scatter out of the club. Harley laughed, loving more of J's handy work against those who had to learn the hard way.

Harley Quinn: What a pussy.

Joker steps to Harley and kisses her roughly. Harley loving the passion and roughness returns it, running her hands through J's hair messing it up while J grabbed her ass, gun in hand makng her feel the cold steel against her buttocks that makes her giggle.

The Joker: Speaking of that, yours is in need of much fun punishment. The first rule in their pathetic lives, don't mess with "MY" Harley. Such a shame. And he had a great deal too. Nah, only you and I will take down the bat, maybe take the world for ourselves. The Joker and Harley Quinn...God and Goddess.

Harley Quinn: Oh puddin! I love that! Can we go for a ride? Please?

The Joker: Of course dear. Frost, please get rid of that common filthy corpse. We're going for a drive. I'm feeling a chemical itch that must be taken great care of.

Johnny Frost: Sure boss.

Frost did it right away as Joker and Harley left, before leaving of course they decided to shoot at civilians striking fear and terror at them all, letting them know that Gotham belongs to them. God help anyone that crosses their way.

The Joker: Bonnie & Clyde move over, let the live and demented criminals handle the work you failed to.

Joker and Harley laughed as he started his Purple Lamborghini and sped of like the devil in the night with his one and only queen by his side.


End file.
